Current:Home > ScamsSelena Gomez reveals she can't carry a baby. It's a unique kind of grief. -Profound Wealth Insights
Selena Gomez reveals she can't carry a baby. It's a unique kind of grief.
View
Date:2025-04-24 16:04:46
Selena Gomez has revealed she's unable to carry a child due to medical reasons − an experience that can cause deep grief our society often overlooks.
“I haven’t ever said this,” Gomez told Vanity Fair, in a cover story published online Monday, “but I unfortunately can’t carry my own children. I have a lot of medical issues that would put my life and the baby’s in jeopardy. That was something I had to grieve for a while.”
The 32-year-old star of "Only Murders in the Building" said she still plans on becoming a mom one day. It's just not going to happen "necessarily the way I envisioned it," she added.
“I thought it would happen the way it happens for everyone," she said. "I’m in a much better place with that. I find it a blessing that there are wonderful people willing to do surrogacy or adoption, which are both huge possibilities for me. It made me really thankful for the other outlets for people who are dying to be moms. I’m one of those people. I’m excited for what that journey will look like, but it’ll look a little different. At the end of the day, I don’t care. It’ll be mine. It’ll be my baby.”
Mourning getting pregnant is a valid grief
Grief experts previously told USA TODAY that women who discover they can't get pregnant often mourn what they thought bringing a child into the world would look like for them. Though it isn't the same as grieving the death of a loved one, it's a painful experience nonetheless.
"There's this hierarchy around what grief deserves to get mourned or get honored," said Loree Johnson, a licensed marriage and family therapist, adding all forms of grief are valid.
Susan Youngsteadt, a social worker in Raleigh, North Carolina, previously opened up to USA TODAY about her experience discovering she carries a hereditary gene for breast cancer at the age of 25. As a result, she made the decision not to have biological children.
While she said she has a loving partner who is also OK with not having children, "that is something that I actively seek therapeutic support around and a community around of choosing to be childless. And some of that choice is due to my health, it is due to the risks that exist in my family system with both of my parents having a cancer diagnosis."
More:At 25 she found out she had the breast cancer gene. Now, she's grieving motherhood.
As with all forms of grief, Youngsteadt said some days are better than others.
"Sometimes it's hard to separate (the different grief experiences)," she said. "But I think something we tell people to do clinically and therapeutically is that you have to hold space for each one and take all the time you need to cry or have a ritual or seek support around each thing and let it run its own course. And then you can pick up the next thing."
Coping with grief
When it comes to grief, psychotherapist and podcast host Amy Morin previously told USA TODAY talking could be beneficial, but not all talk will be helpful.
"When someone is grieving another type of loss, like the loss of hope after learning they can't have a child, the information might be kept private," she said. "Other people may also minimize the impact of a loss. That can slow the healing process."
My dog died two months ago.Pet loss causes deep grief that our society ignores.
Grief slithers into our lives at inconvenient times. It leaves us uncomfortable and unwilling to discuss it.
"People get worried that it might be contagious," David Kessler, grief expert and founder of Grief.com, previously told USA TODAY. "Like, if I hear too much about your parent dying, it doesn't mean my parent's dying soon. Is it?"
More:Selena Gomez's revealing documentary gave her freedom: 'There wasn't any hiding anymore'
Grief wasn't something Youngsteadt ever planned on. No one does.
But "the older I get, and the more grief has touched my life, I think that's where I need to be," she said. "And I think that's where I need to immerse myself. It's where I feel the most aligned. It's where I feel – it's weird to say comfortable – but it's where I really feel like that's where I'm supposed to be."
Contributing: David Oliver
veryGood! (342)
Related
- Behind on your annual reading goal? Books under 200 pages to read before 2024 ends
- Video shows man jumping on car with 2 children inside, smashing window in Philadelphia
- Liverpool, West Ham remain perfect in Europa League, newcomer Brighton picks up first point
- Accountant’s testimony sprawls into a 4th day at Trump business fraud trial in New York
- The Best Stocking Stuffers Under $25
- Developed nations pledge $9.3 billion to global climate fund at gathering in Germany
- Dramatic video shows plane moments before it crashed into Oregon home, killing 22-year-old instructor and 20-year-old student pilot
- Pregnant Model Maleesa Mooney's Cause of Death Revealed
- 'Stranger Things' prequel 'The First Shadow' is headed to Broadway
- The CDC will no longer issue COVID-19 vaccination cards
Ranking
- NCAA President Charlie Baker would be 'shocked' if women's tournament revenue units isn't passed
- New Mexico signs final order to renew permit at US nuclear waste repository
- Thousands of US workers are on strike today. Here’s a rundown of major work stoppages happening now
- High school teacher suspended for performing on porn website: I do miss my students
- Buckingham Palace staff under investigation for 'bar brawl'
- Officers’ lawyers challenge analysis of video that shows Black man’s death in Tacoma, Washington
- Trump allegedly discussed US nuclear subs with foreign national: Sources
- Ex-USC gynecologist charged with sexually assaulting students dies before going to trial
Recommendation
Travis Hunter, the 2
How Travis Kelce's Mom Donna Is Shaking Off Haters Over Taylor Swift Buzz
Pennsylvania House passes bill to move up presidential primary, but it has conflicts with the Senate
Video shows man jumping on car with 2 children inside, smashing window in Philadelphia
How effective is the Hyundai, Kia anti-theft software? New study offers insights.
Biden says he couldn’t divert funds for miles of a US-Mexico border wall, but doesn’t think it works
Rachel Bilson Responds After Whoopi Goldberg Criticizes Her Hot Take on Men’s Sex Lives
New report on New Jersey veterans home deaths says to move oversight away from military